Ethan & Joel: The Brothers Coen
This week, the only movie that really matters:
- No Country for Old Men. Ok, I know I usually put the wide releases first, but tough shit. For me, the Coen Brothers movie is the movie of the year. It’s the movie of the last several years actually. Here’s supposedly how the release is going to go: 23 screens (or is it theaters? I never know) this weekend. Then it expands some on the 16th and then it goes into wide release on the 21st. A word of warning to you anal retentive spoiler avoiders like me: Hubbub about ‘the ending’ is all over the internet so you’d best avoid any Country related discussions. I swear to god I don’t understand internet critic’s need to be first with a review.
Opening this week in wide release:
- Lions for Lambs. Redford. Streep. Cruise. War on Terror. Yawn. Andrew Sarris says: “Plays out as a mountain of self-righteously guilt-ridden rhetoric perched on a molehill of narrative.” Ouch, that’s gonna leave a mark. Hey did you hear? There’s a new Coen movie coming out.
- Fred Claus. Shit like this almost makes me hate Christmas. Thank the media gods for How The Grinch Stole Christmas (the book and the cartoon, not How Ron Howard Stole My Childhood), A Charlie Brown Christmas, Bad Santa, It’s a Wonderful Life and Die Hard. Paul Giamatti has just about worn out the good will he earned with American Splendor and Sideways. I don’t begrudge a guy collecting a paycheck, but don’t push it. Yep, new Coen movie. I shit you not.
- P2. Businesswoman Rachel Nichols would like to get home for Christmas. Parking garage security guard Wes Bently would like her to stick around. Psychological thriller is co-written and co-produced by Alexandre Aja. Directed by Franck Khalfoun, one of the stars of Aja’s High Tension. Pssssst…Coen movie.
Expanding this weekend:
- Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead
- Christmas In Wonderland. Swayze. Electra. Christmas. Makes Fred Claus look like Citizen Kane.
- Holly. Nothing says ‘Happy Holidays’ like Vietnamese child prostitution.
- National Lampoon Presents Electric Apricot. I was all ready to tune out right after “National Lamp….”, but then I saw it’s directed by Les Claypool and it’s a spoof about a Grateful Dead/Phish type band. So then I was interested for like 15 seconds and then I tuned out again.
- Steal a Pencil for Me. Because….I want someone to eat cheese with?? I don’t know. Love story. Nazi occupied Holland. Good times.
- War/Dance. If this was Michael Flatley, Lord of the Dance vs. 3 albino tigers jacked up on PCP in a steel cage death match, I would pay cash money to see it. But it’s not. It’s a documentary about three kids at a music and dance festival in war torn Northern Uganda….vs. Michael Flatley in a steel cage death match? No? Bummer.