Ye Olde Weekend Forecast: 8/31/07


You know, I’m beginning to think I picked a good time to take a break from movies because August has been mostly crap. Once again, a bunch of movies and not a single one I’m really interested in.

This week in wide release:

  • Halloween. Hey kids, it’s August 31st and you know what THAT means. That’s right! Halloween. Wait…what? Ok, whatever. Anyway, say what you want about the admittedly dated original, it scared the piss out of me when I was a lad. I’ll admit the first time I saw the trailer for this remake (I think it was before 300) it gave me the willies, but then later on not so much. Malcolm McDowell is cool and all, but he’s just not the same as Donald Pleasence. A lot of people love Rob Zombie so maybe he’ll do it up right. I don’t know. It better have the music.
  • Balls of Fury (Released Wednesday 8/29). How much dumber can you get than dodge ball? How about table tennis? Sometimes dumb is funny and sometimes dumb is dumb. I’m happy to wait for the DVD to find out which category Balls of Fury falls into. There are reasons to be encouraged. Chris Walken doing Fu Manchu has to be funny for at least 5 minutes, right? Ben Garant of Reno 911! Fame wrote and directed. Another inexplicable Wednesday release.
  • Death Sentence. Kevin Bacon goes all Paul Kersey on some thugs when his son is killed in a gang initiation ritual. Jodie Foster’s got a vigilante movie coming out soon too. What gives?

And in limited release.

  • Exiled. (LA 9/7). You like your Johnny To flavored Hong Kong action? Here you go. Enjoy.
  • Freshman Orientation. What better way to get closer to the sorority babe of your dreams than to pretend you’re gay? Ok, I can think of a thousand better ways, but they can’t be mined for shallow laughs in low wattage comedies and you won’t see them at the multiplex anytime soon. This one is an independent so it’ll probably turn out to have a heart o’ gold, and maybe I should give it the benefit of a doubt….nah.
  • Ladron Que Roba A Ladron. Crime/Caper film you say? I don’t care what language…sign me up. I’ve said it before I’ll say it again. I’m a sucker for the genre even though more often than not it disappoints. This one is in Spanish and concerns two professional thieves fresh out of jail who plan the perfect caper but can’t get their usual crew to help them out because it’s too high risk and they’re forced to turn to immigrant laborers.
  • The Nines. Three stories, each with the same actors and all set in the world of television. Well, the good news is Hope Davis is in it..
  • Self Medicated. Hey kids, being a teenager sucks. Especially when your dad dies and you take drugs! Just say no to movies about sullen teenagers.
  • Klimt. This one has been kicking around the indie theater circuit since June but finally opens this weekend in LA. John Malkovich stars as the influential Austrian artist.
  • Live-In Maid. Financial tragedy befalls a rich woman in Buenos Aires and she’s forced to fire her maid. I’m guessing she bounces down the economic ladder and ends up on a rung below where her maid once was and we all learn valuable lessons about class equality and whatnot.
  • Manda Bala (Send a Bullet). Grand Jury Prize winning documentary at the 2007 Sundance Film Festival that takes a look at crime and corruption in Brazil.
  • Summercamp. A documentary about an experience I never had nor ever really wanted.

15 thoughts on “Ye Olde Weekend Forecast: 8/31/07

  1. Ebert has a really funny non-review of Death Sentence up today, in case you’ve missed it. Everyone seems to hate it, but I’m going to see Halloween. I think Zombie has talent and I’m curious.

    But Death Setence may be the late August B movie to see, I missed Dead Silence (wonder how many people mix those up in coming years) so I’m curious to see a non-Saw James Wan movie. I didn’t like Saw, but I respected the make something out of nothig ingenuity on display.

  2. ZzzzZzzZZzZZZzZzZZZzzZZZZZzzzZZZ,huh?…what…oh, uh, the movies…wha? (wipes slobber from lip, sleep from eye)…Snevin Bacon?…Halloween remake?

    Rolls over, shuts eyes, zzZZZzzzZzZzzzZZzZZZz

    Yeah, sorry Rob, but even if the fanboys liked your Halloween remake I honestly just couldn’t care less. The original is starting to age rather poorly and there was no need to remake a movie that has spawned a dozen sequels.

    Kevin Bacon gets VENGEANCE!! If I hadn’t seen the trailer, which is one of those cliff-notes trailers for people that need to know the entire plot and every action sequence before they can commit, I might be a tiny bit more curious. But I did see the trailer and it revealed most of acts 1,2, and 3 so I won’t bother with watching this one even on SPIKE!TV, which is where it will end up in four months.

    Man, August has been the dregs of the dregs for releases overall.

  3. Oh, and just to clarify: the fanboys all hated Halloween 0, the Quickening. Not good news for Rob but since he just signed a deal with the Weinsteins, I’m quite certain he doesn’t care.

  4. Chuck, I salute you sir. I hope you enjoy the Bacon. I must admit I was curious to see Number 23 after all the horrific reviews it got. A movie that bad is probably got a lot of unintended hilarity!

  5. I don’t deny that I can have a taste for genre crap, and I am a fan of Kevin Bacon, who is very underappreciated. (I thought he gave the strongest performance in Mystic River, Penn and Robbins were a bit too “I am Actor hear my roar” for my tastes.)

    I was in the same boat on Number 23, but ultimately didn’t see it, I looked up the “twist” ending on the net instead and was glad to have saved the money. Crap I can take, but boring crap is the worst of every world.

  6. This is the first time I’ve really focused on movie releases on a week by week basis and WOW did August just come to a screeching halt, or what? Is it like this every year? I mean, the parade of summer blockbusters was boring and all, but it was something. Even the indie calendar seems crammed with warmed over film festival rejects.

    Anyway. I might have to check out Zombieween. I’ve got nothing against Mr. Zombie at all though I admit I haven’t seen House of 1000 Corpses or Devil’s Rejects. I think we’ve discussed here or elsewhere that Horror just isn’t my genre wheelhouse. However, from interviews Zombie seems like a sharp guy and he’s obviously passionate and knowledgeable about classic horror.

    Kevin Bacon is always solid, and Chuck speaks the truth about him in the otherwise disappointing Mystic River. There’s room in every nutritious movie diet for an easy to swallow thriller now and then. Sometimes they’re the kind of thing that is easy to pick apart if you’re in that mood, but if you just go along for the ride and take it for what it is, they can be enjoyable. Fracture was kind of that way for me earlier this year. It’s not going to show up on any critics’ 10 Best lists, but so what?

    Anyway, as I said at the top of the forecast, looks like I picked the right month to slack on movie watching.

  7. I am not much on Mystic River either, I think its overwrought and unconvincing. Matter of fact, I liked Clint alot better when he was unassuming genre man as opposed to Great American Director. That said, I thought Letters From Iwo Jima was much stronger than most of his recent output.

  8. Iwo was solid, except for 2 or 3 scenes that begged for subtlety but were delivered with a sledgehammer. There was the business with the dog, there was the already gripping suicide sequence marred by the over-obvious blood splashed photograph nonsense and there were one too many “Gee these Americans aren’t the monsters we thought they were” moments.

    I only nitpick because with a little tinkering I think it would’ve been one of the best movies of the year but it’s a little disappointing it fell short for me.

    Mystic River. I’m still waiting for someone to explain the whole thing with Kevin Bacon’s wife.

  9. HAH…I was gonna mention that in those exact words, but I figured we’d kicked the movie around enough. But while we’re at it, how about Sean Penn’s acting seminar meltdown when they discover the body? At that point, I was so removed from the movie I just didn’t buy into the histrionics.

    Bacon was good and I remember liking Marcia Gay Harden as Tim Robbins’ wife. The rest? Overrated. The way people got all weak in the knees for it made it especially annoying.

  10. You know its a slow upcoming movie week when the majority of the posts are in regards to a movie that was released four or five years ago. Thankfully, fall is just around the corner again.

  11. I remember perking up at the Laura Linney/Lady Macbeth scene because all of a sudden it felt like the movie was taking a chance and going somewhere interesting, which it hadn’t really been up to that point. And I agree about Letters as well; lots of good stuff but too long and marred by at least one stupid (coughHaggiscough) scene.

    But this weekend I’m totally there for Halloween.

  12. I think my beef with the Lady Linney bit was that it felt like it came out of nowhere. A whole movie where she’d had more of the focus from the start might’ve been terrific.

    And yeah, I enjoy laying the most blame at Haggis’ door. I don’t know what it is about that guy exactly. He’s committed far fewer movie sins than say Jerry Suckheimer, yet there’s something about certain writers that just gets under my skin and pisses me off. I have a special chamber of hatred in my dark heart that I save for annoying writers. Akiva Goldsman is another one. For completely different reasons Joe Eszterhas is also on that list.

  13. That smirk that says “I’m smarter than my audience” which doesn’t play on people who actually ARE smarter and is 10 times worse on people like him who are actually dumber? Yeah, that doesn’t help, though my hatred of him predates having seen his mug.

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